Bilingual Story Structural Edit

I have a completed narrative written in both Indonesian and English that now needs a deep substantive edit. I’m happy with the raw ideas, but the content flow and overall structure aren’t yet delivering the emotional punch I want—especially when it comes to how the characters grow across both language versions. Your task is to reshape scenes, reorder beats where necessary, and fine-tune transitions so each protagonist’s arc feels authentic and engaging in either language. While surface-level grammar fixes are welcome, I’m primarily counting on you to diagnose any pacing lulls, strengthen motivations, and make sure every choice my characters make rings true. Because this is a bilingual manuscript, sensitivity to cultural nuance and an ear for natural dialogue in both Indonesian and English will make the difference between a competent edit and a transformative one. If you have previously guided multilingual fiction toward publication and can point to concrete results, that’s the sort of experience I need to see. Deliverable: a marked-up file (Track Changes or equivalent) plus a brief editorial report outlining the structural changes you recommend and why they sharpen character development. I’m ready to start as soon as the right editor raises their hand.